This is the End?

First of all I don’t know why I feel compelled to write this piece. Perhaps it is an attempt to sum up my poker career to date, perhaps it is a warning to other people in a similar situation to myself or perhaps this could finally be my retirement from the game of poker? I have been wrestling with my conscience over the last couple of weeks in relation to poker. I have done extensive research and have a fairly accurate figure of the amount of money that I have invested in poker – both live and online. As it stands since my introduction to poker in September 2005 I have been a losing player to the tune of circa 5.5k. Now this paltry figure might seem like chicken feed to most but as a small time recreational player it still irks me that I have basically handed over a large percentage of my current net worth to fellow degenerate gamblers. I have never been busto – but then again I never understood how anyone could go busto. I always had a philosophy of never playing with money I couldn’t afford to lose.

In a recent conversation a well known IPB’er remarked that just by admitting I was a losing player it put me ahead of the masses who continue to delude themselves into thinking they are making money from the game. This got me thinking – If I wasn’t playing the game to make money then why was I playing? It’s certainly not for entertainment! As far as value for money is concerned I have come to the conclusion that poker is probably the least value where entertainment is concerned. Spending time in front of an LCD screen really isn’t a great way to spend nice summer evenings considering the alternatives that are available. An argument could be made for the live scene but most of the craic live comes from everything that isn’t poker related such as meeting the people we know from IPB and having the craic at the bar.

There is one thing that jumps out at me more than anything else – to be successful at poker you need a very defined set of traits; emotional indifference, analytical skill and general intelligence but to name a few. It strikes me that anyone who possesses these traits is likely to be successful in other business ventures in life outside the world of poker. I’v already proven myself to be a failure at poker does this mean I will fail in business too? I hope not but only time will tell.

So I suppose you could call this my official retirement from poker (for real this time – not like the previous attempts that lasted all of 5 minutes). No doubt Il miss that feeling of excitement of flopping the nuts and having someone empty the clip trying to bluff the pot. Or that feeling of pure desperation as my 14 outer finally gets there on the river for a 400bb pot – it really is “the sweetest desperation in the world”. Il not miss wasting my youth in front of a laptop analysing stats and plugging leaks or having some fitz junkie bink his 1 outer on the river for the price of a small island in Dubai. But most of all Il miss the dream of the big scoop. I think all players dream of someday scooping big – whether it is purely for financial reasons or to prove to themselves that at the end of the day it was all worth it. I’d like to think that the last barrier between me and a complete degenerate is that I know when to throw in the towel and not to chase the elusive big score.

So that’s that! Im sure Il see the majority of you at events around Ireland – I quite enjoy the reporting aspect of the game believe it or not and I have a few business ideas that are directly linked with the world of poker but for now my playing days are over.

Player gone!! Table 1 seat 5

Tony